Do It Yourself
by demon sloth
Summary: Reino buys a house, kidnaps Sho and blackmails him to decorate. Friendship-fic. Warning: Language -hiatus-
1. The Kidnapping

A/N: Drabble fic.

Disclaimer: Do. Not. Own. (Or this would be cannon)

Warning: Language. Copious misuse of author powers. Reino.

* * *

When Sho had gotten into the entertainment business he had thought that he had prepared himself for anything and everything it could throw at him. This is why he finds himself suitably lost when he opens his door to see a contrite looking Reino standing there at too-early-in-the-damn-morning o'clock in all his feathery glory.

He briefly considers slamming the door, heading back to bed and passing this off as some crazy melon-induced dream, (he and melons have a hate-hate relationship. Which doesn't explain why he still crawls back to them) but for some unexplainable reason he dampens down his first impulse and decides to hear what Reino wants. After all – maybe he's going to apologise for all the shit he put Sho through over the past few years.

"I bought a house."

...or maybe not. Wanker.

"So?" Sho drawls at him (quite smoothly if you asked him), cocking an eyebrow and crossing his arms over his chest in his 'laidback cool guy pose' (accentuated by the fact that he was only wearing sweatpants _because He. Had. Been. Asleep_).

Reino smirks at him and Sho feels fingers of ice trail down his spine at the sight. "You're going to decorate."

Sho stares at him, trying to work out the where the logic in this situation was hiding. Really, he does. Then he decides that Reino has obviously hit his head very, _very_ hard and is sporting a massive concussion. Ha! Have fun trying to deal with that by yourself!

He's so amused by the fact that his long term rival has sustained serious head trama that he ignores all the warnings that his instincts are practically yelling at him. "You're crazy. You know that?" He asks as he turns around, content to let the door slam in Reino's face by itself for 'dramatic purposes only' and get back to bed.

Which probably wasn't the best thing he could have done in that situation, he thinks to himself when he wakes up dazed and confused in the passenger side of Reino's car, having absolutely no clue how he got there and why everything seems to be fuzzy.

* * *

Um...yeah. Trying out a different P.O.V./writing style - whatever you want to call it.

DS


	2. Picture

Sho isn't stupid. No matter that his fans and some (_all_) of the people he works with think so. _He_ knows that he isn't a ditzy blond, so it only takes him a few moments to realise that something isn't right.

The fact that he's travelling at seventy down the motorway with Reino only cements this. _And_ that he isn't stupid.

"Oh God. Where am I?" It slips out before he can stop it and Sho silently consolidates himself because that's just the...the..._whatever_ it was that was used to knock him out talking.

"Oh good! You're awake!"

And Reino is entirely too chipper for someone who has just kidnapped him, Sho thinks to himself. He blinks a few times and the fuzziness disappears almost entirely.

"To answer you're first question, you're in a car. My car. On a motorway."

"Right." And really, it makes sense. He lunges for the door handle but it's locked. Not one to give up easily he gives it a few shakes.

When that doesn't work he slams his shoulder into it a few times.

"You know," Reino comments offhandedly, his eyes never leaving the road, "I think my locking system is more durable than your shoulder. But feel free to test that theory."

Sho shoots him a dark look then contemplates the window.

"Need I remind you that if you tried to jump out the window whilst we're doing seventy there is a high probability that you'll die?"

"Shut up." Sho mumbles, "I think death is probably better than being stuck with you. And you do realise that as soon as you stop this car I'm going to run. "

Reino smirks and shakes his head slightly. "Tut, tut Sho. You're not going anywhere."

Sho cocks his eyebrow. "Of course I am. What's stopping me?"

Reino sighs lightly and looks forlorn, "Well, I suppose if you're going to run then you're going to run. But! If you disappear then there's nothing to stop this little baby being leaked to the press." With that he pulls out a picture from the inside pocket of his jacket with a flourish.

Sho can only stare horrified. It's a picture of him, lying unconscious on the floor with empty beer bottles and little white pills strewn around him. "What...?" He whispers, in complete incomprehension.

"That's the one I like the best." Reino comments, "The light highlights your cheekbones really well."

* * *

Oh Sho. How do you get yourself into these messes?

DS


	3. Are You Kidding Me?

"Are you...are you _serious?!" _Sho whispers, eyes wide as he stares at the photo in his hand.

Reino leans over to get a better look at the picture. "It is rather damning, isn't it?" He asks like he's never seen it before. Like he wasn't the one to take the damn thing.

There's a moment when Sho contemplates just throwing it out the window. Bye-bye incriminating photograph, hello freedom! Except the chances of it being picked up by some stranger and sold on are too high.

That and he's sure that this isn't the only copy that Reino has. The bastard is sneaky like that.

Instead he just resigns himself to trying to figuring out just what the hell is happening in the photo. "What the _hell_ are those?!" He asks, shocked. "Are those...are those _drugs?!"_ His mouth is hanging open but he just can't bring himself to care at the moment.

Reino snorts and rolls his eyes. "Don't be silly." He reaches into the inside pocket of his jacket with his left hand and pulls out a small canister full of little white pills, giving it a few little shakes whilst he wears a (_completely unrepentant_) shit-eating grin. "Tic-tacs."

A strange noise fills the car – halfway between a growl and strangled laughter.

It takes Sho a few moments to realise that the noise is coming from _him _and he finds himself clenching his fists to stop himself from punching Reino in the face, feeling the photo crumple in his hand. But only because he doesn't want to find out what would happen if he punches out the driver.

It's about this time that Sho realises that Reino is still contemplating the photo and not the road, _which he is driving at seventy down_.

He lets out a strangled yell (which he thinks is apt for the circumstances) and shoves his hand in Reino's face, trying to get the bastard to look at the _damn road_ and not at him.

Of course, Reino looks at him like he's just gone crazy, only with half his face being smooshed by Sho's palm.

By this time though, Sho is ignoring him, his gaze fluctuating between the road and the dashboard as he watches the needle on the speedometer slowly crawl its way past eighty and then ninety.

He whimpers and clutches at his seat. The priority of getting a handhold that could maybe (not going to ever) save him if they crash over-ruling all his other thought processes.

He tries to ask Reino to _'Please, dear God, look at the road. Idon'twanttodie.'_ But all that comes out is "Nnnghyahaaaaaaa!"

Unable to process his death which is becoming an increasing reality the longer he sits there doing nothing, Sho lunges forward, trying to grab the wheel and wrestle control of the vehicle from the obvious mad-man.


	4. Failing At Driving

Obviously this is one of the _stupidest_ things that Sho has ever done. And he's including that time when he was seven and took the dare where he had to run down the street with raw meat tied to him.

Who knew dogs could run that fast anyhow?

He shakes his head.

Now is _not_ the time to be thinking of that particular black spot in his reasoning. Besides, when he dies he doesn't want his last thought to be one of dogs snapping at him, trying to eat him alive.

To be fair, (and to be completely honest) he takes Reino completely by surprise and (if his brain could process more than _OhGodI'mgoingtodie!OhGodI'mgoingtodie!) _he would be completely proud of that fact.

Smug even.

More so when the entire situation is added by Reino letting out a small shriek of surprise as Sho's hands clamp down on the steering wheel to keep the car in the right lane.

Unfortunately this is where the stupid part of the equation comes in. Because he's startled Reino, Reino lets go of the wheel. Because he was trying to overcompensate for the drag to the right he yanked down hard, spinning the wheel to the left and causing the car to cut across three lanes of traffic.

They barely miss totalling a silver Volvo which lets out an almighty screech of burning rubber as the driver breaks hard. By that time (of course) they're already twenty cars ahead and Reino has gathered his wits enough to grab the wheel again and try to wrestle back control.

Sho doesn't notice this much because his hands are tightly clamped on the wheel and he's staring in abject terror at the road ahead of them.

A small part of his brain _does_ register that Reino still has his damn foot on the gas pedal because they're _speeding up_ and that just shouldn't be possible.

"Sho! Damnit!" Reino's trying to pry his fingers off the wheel but Sho won't let go because they're going close to one hundred and twenty and Reino _still isn't looking at the road!_

He whimpers and doesn't really care about what Reino will think of him because he's pretty sure he's about to die in the next ten seconds.

This thought is cemented when Reino curses vividly and scrambles about in his pocket for a moment before he pulls out a piece of white cloth and slams in across Sho's nose and mouth.

'_Huh._' Sho thinks as the world turns dark around him, '_Chloroform_. _That explained things.'_

His last thought is that he's glad his last thought isn't about the damn dogs.


	5. Sweet Unmoving Ground

El Scribe: Silver Volvo = Edward Cullen getting run off the road. It made me giggle. Two second crossovers = yay (to me that is). Yeah, grammar, changed from being past tense to present-but-not tense because I decided that...well, no. Now that I think about it I have no idea what I was thinking. Did try to catch them all :)

* * *

The first thing Sho notices when he wakes up is that he's still in the car.

The second thing (and this brings a tear to his eye) is that the car has stopped and he's still in one piece.

He's distracted from thanking every God and Goddess he can remember when Reino opens the door. In a moment of abject worship he falls to the floor and hugs it. As well as one can hug a floor that is.

"Sweet unmoving ground." He whispers to it, feeling wholly justified.

"Sho." Reino's voice is unwelcome in his prayer time so he does the only thing he can do – ignores it.

Reino doesn't seem to get the message though as he kicks Sho in the ribs. "Sho, get up. You're attracting attention."

"I will never take you for granted again." Sho continues, rubbing his cheek against the tarmac.

"Sho, I'm being serious. They know who you are."

"Forgive me."

"They're taking pictures."

"I don't care. I'm alive." He says, nuzzling the ground.

"Fine. I'm going to go tell them you're high."

"Still don't care, you psychopath."

"Also your name is Shotaro."

_That_ has Sho shooting up like a shot. "Don't you dare!" He screeches out, trying to make it seem like his voice has always been that high. Obviously he's just singing a line from his new song. One that he's just made up but has a ridiculously high-pitched tune to it.

It's about then that he realises that the car park (in which he is in the middle of) is completely empty. Of anything. Especially fans which Reino can blab his darkest secret to.

Completely unprepared for the complete lack of _everything_ he stares around in bewilderment.

"What?" He gets out eventually.

"I called ahead, had them open just for us." Reino smirks unrepentantly.


End file.
